A song for my daughter
They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
-Dixie Chicks, Lullaby
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Exhausted
I am officially worn out and it's only the third week of work.
I have just taken over a third grade classroom as a long term sub for a teacher who is on maternity leave. I was supposed to take over two weeks from now after having a week getting to know the classroom and how everything works. Due to some complications with the teacher's pregnancy, I have taken over this week, unexpectedly.
I feel overwhelmed to say the least and am attempting to fight a cold to top it off.
I want to devote my evenings to my daughter, but I find myself not only exhausted, but so busy with work to do.
I know this is what I want... to teach, but man do I wish I was a stay at home mom lately.
I just need to make it through this year and I know it will only get better.
Easier said than done
I have just taken over a third grade classroom as a long term sub for a teacher who is on maternity leave. I was supposed to take over two weeks from now after having a week getting to know the classroom and how everything works. Due to some complications with the teacher's pregnancy, I have taken over this week, unexpectedly.
I feel overwhelmed to say the least and am attempting to fight a cold to top it off.
I want to devote my evenings to my daughter, but I find myself not only exhausted, but so busy with work to do.
I know this is what I want... to teach, but man do I wish I was a stay at home mom lately.
I just need to make it through this year and I know it will only get better.
Easier said than done
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Christmas, where are you?
It's almost September and once again I find myself wishing for Christmas. This has been the case ever since we moved to Mexico almost two years ago. The summers here are rainy and drab, which only adds to my want of Gingerbread lattes, boots and warm coats, watching White Christmas, catching up with old friends, and most of all, time with family.
This year I feel it even more now that Isa is in our lives. I so want to show her off to my wonderful girlfriends in San Diego and to watch my grandma hold her and to hear my dad talk to her.
But once again, I must wait; almost 4 months to be exact. I'm trying my best not to listen to Christmas music, and I may or may not have given in once or twice.
But I am hit with reality when I remember that I have 3 grad school classes to complete before then as well as a classroom of children to teach.
So, to get me through til December, I'll listen to some Bon Iver and enjoy my rapidly growing daughter.
This year I feel it even more now that Isa is in our lives. I so want to show her off to my wonderful girlfriends in San Diego and to watch my grandma hold her and to hear my dad talk to her.
But once again, I must wait; almost 4 months to be exact. I'm trying my best not to listen to Christmas music, and I may or may not have given in once or twice.
But I am hit with reality when I remember that I have 3 grad school classes to complete before then as well as a classroom of children to teach.
So, to get me through til December, I'll listen to some Bon Iver and enjoy my rapidly growing daughter.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
This Year
Three things:
Grad School
First year teaching
New baby
If James and I can make it through this next year with masters degrees in hand, a healthy, happy baby, and still married I think we can handle just about anything.
It's going to be a crazy year.
Grad School
First year teaching
New baby
If James and I can make it through this next year with masters degrees in hand, a healthy, happy baby, and still married I think we can handle just about anything.
It's going to be a crazy year.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Oh Hey, It's Been a While
Hello stranger... ok, so it's really me who's been the stranger...
Blame it on the newborn.
It's been 2 months and 3 days since Isabela was brought into this world and our family of three has managed to pack in a ridiculous amount of life in that time.
James and I both still find ourselves in awe of this beautiful little girl that we created. It's amazing to see how much she has grown.
Her cheeks are chubby and I do believe there are multiple fat rolls forming on her thighs.
She weighed in at 9.5 pounds last week and is a healthy happy girl.
I head back to work on Wednesday. I'm down to one more full day with my girl.
I have no direct answer for how I feel about that. First off, I do not have a choice as to whether or not I'd like to work or stay at home. I have to work. James and I cannot make it on one salary. So, I work.
On one hand, I'm looking forward to going back and seeing co-workers and friends who I've missed all summer. I'm excited to meet my class of kids and see who I'm working with. I'm still so young and have so many goals yet to achieve. I enjoy working and I love my job. I'm not ready to give that up.
On the other hand, I still tear up when I think of being away from Isabela for 9 hours of the day. I worry that she'll forget all about me in that time; that she'll cry all day wondering where her favorite set of boobs are. I worry that she'll get sick while I'm gone, that I won't be there to comfort her and sing to her.
But, like I said, I have no choice in the matter. I'm going back to work full-time on Wednesday and that's that. Rather than dwell on the hard parts, I'll try to remember that I'm doing this for her. In order for her to have the things she needs. Food to eat, cloths to wear and a roof over her head.
And I have to believe that she won't forget me; that she will always know who her mother is.
And ok, I'm sure I'll bawl my eyes out when I drive away on Wednesday.
Blame it on the newborn.
It's been 2 months and 3 days since Isabela was brought into this world and our family of three has managed to pack in a ridiculous amount of life in that time.
James and I both still find ourselves in awe of this beautiful little girl that we created. It's amazing to see how much she has grown.
Her cheeks are chubby and I do believe there are multiple fat rolls forming on her thighs.
She weighed in at 9.5 pounds last week and is a healthy happy girl.
I head back to work on Wednesday. I'm down to one more full day with my girl.
I have no direct answer for how I feel about that. First off, I do not have a choice as to whether or not I'd like to work or stay at home. I have to work. James and I cannot make it on one salary. So, I work.
On one hand, I'm looking forward to going back and seeing co-workers and friends who I've missed all summer. I'm excited to meet my class of kids and see who I'm working with. I'm still so young and have so many goals yet to achieve. I enjoy working and I love my job. I'm not ready to give that up.
On the other hand, I still tear up when I think of being away from Isabela for 9 hours of the day. I worry that she'll forget all about me in that time; that she'll cry all day wondering where her favorite set of boobs are. I worry that she'll get sick while I'm gone, that I won't be there to comfort her and sing to her.
But, like I said, I have no choice in the matter. I'm going back to work full-time on Wednesday and that's that. Rather than dwell on the hard parts, I'll try to remember that I'm doing this for her. In order for her to have the things she needs. Food to eat, cloths to wear and a roof over her head.
And I have to believe that she won't forget me; that she will always know who her mother is.
And ok, I'm sure I'll bawl my eyes out when I drive away on Wednesday.
Monday, July 5, 2010
One Month
It's been one month since our world changed completely.
One month ago our daughter was born. Isabela Jewell Kitchin.
This past month has been a whirlwind. My recovery from the c-section was brutal, which made taking care of a new baby difficult to say the least. Thankfully we had tons of help with my mom and James' mom here.
While the extra help was wonderful and needed, when everyone left, it was so nice to have it be just the three of us; our new family.
We've had our ups and downs, tired nights and tired days (thank you caffine for getting my through).
The low point was a two day period when Isabela would cry and scream in pain for hours on end, day and night. Needless to say, we were worried and felt helpless. We made an appointment with our pediatrician and the day we were to bring her in, she woke up as happy as could be... and with a diaper full of something nasty.
We think it was a stomach virus, which would explain why it only lasted two days. We still went to the doctor's and had her checked out. She checked out great and we agreed it had passed.
Now, on to happier things...
I could stare at this girl forever. She is cooing and ahhing now and actually looks at us when we talk to her. I like to think she knows us now; mommy and daddy.
Some things I've learned this past month:
-the first time your child gets sick is easily one of the worst feelings ever for you and for her
-burp clothes are a necessity and should be used at all times
-you can never have enough onesies or blankets
-just as you change a diaper, your child will go to the bathroom again, and if you're lucky, you'll have the new diaper on in time
-0-3 month clothing is huge and will not fit a newborn
-the love you have for your child is like nothing else in the world
James and I are in love with this girl, a girl who is solely dependent on us for everything. It is the closest thing to a selfless love that there is.
One month ago our daughter was born. Isabela Jewell Kitchin.
This past month has been a whirlwind. My recovery from the c-section was brutal, which made taking care of a new baby difficult to say the least. Thankfully we had tons of help with my mom and James' mom here.
While the extra help was wonderful and needed, when everyone left, it was so nice to have it be just the three of us; our new family.
We've had our ups and downs, tired nights and tired days (thank you caffine for getting my through).
The low point was a two day period when Isabela would cry and scream in pain for hours on end, day and night. Needless to say, we were worried and felt helpless. We made an appointment with our pediatrician and the day we were to bring her in, she woke up as happy as could be... and with a diaper full of something nasty.
We think it was a stomach virus, which would explain why it only lasted two days. We still went to the doctor's and had her checked out. She checked out great and we agreed it had passed.
Now, on to happier things...
I could stare at this girl forever. She is cooing and ahhing now and actually looks at us when we talk to her. I like to think she knows us now; mommy and daddy.
Some things I've learned this past month:
-the first time your child gets sick is easily one of the worst feelings ever for you and for her
-burp clothes are a necessity and should be used at all times
-you can never have enough onesies or blankets
-just as you change a diaper, your child will go to the bathroom again, and if you're lucky, you'll have the new diaper on in time
-0-3 month clothing is huge and will not fit a newborn
-the love you have for your child is like nothing else in the world
James and I are in love with this girl, a girl who is solely dependent on us for everything. It is the closest thing to a selfless love that there is.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Introducing Our Girl
She's finally here!
Introducing Isabela Jewell Kitchin
We changed the spelling of her name a bit, dropping one of the l's in Isabela, which is how they spell it here in Mexico. We figure it's a small way to make her name a bit more unique and a nice little way to celebrate her birth in Mexico and the time we have and will spend here.
It all happened on June 5th, her due date. I was scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 7am to begin inducing labor with the hopes that the contractions would move Isabela into the correct position in the birth canal. We got up early, I showered, got dressed, double checked our hospital bag and we were on our way, It was like Christmas times a thousand.
Once we arrived to the hospital they started me on pitocin to get the contractions going. It was slow moving for a while, since the pitocin took a couple hours to kick in for me, but once it did, oh man did those things hurt. The contractions got more intense and more frequent until I felt like there was no break in between.
During all of this, my blood pressure was being closely monitored. It was unusually high when I arrived to the hospital, which my doctor and I chalked up to nerves, but as the hours went by, it got higher and did not go down. Because of this, my doctor had me give a urine sample to check for protines in the urine, which are a sign and symptom of pre-eclampsia.
When the results came back, it turned out that I had high levels of the protine in my urine. That, along with the high blood pressure were two signs that I was experiencing pre-eclampsia. In the mean time, after almost 5 hours in labor on pitocin, I hadn't dialated one bit, so my doctor decided it was best to get the baby out asap via c-section, rather than risk my health.
I was in the operating room within 10 minutes and one hour later Isabela entered this world.
She came in at 6lbs 2oz and 21 inches long. She is absolutely perfect in every way and James and I are enamered.
We are home now, after 3 nights in the hospital and my recovery has been tough, but it's getting better each day. We have a lot of help right now with my mom and James' mom at the house, which is allowing us to get some much needed rest.
We are so happy for our family of 3, 4 counting Lila.
Speaking of Lila, I will leave you with a picture of her big introduction to Isabela.
Introducing Isabela Jewell Kitchin
We changed the spelling of her name a bit, dropping one of the l's in Isabela, which is how they spell it here in Mexico. We figure it's a small way to make her name a bit more unique and a nice little way to celebrate her birth in Mexico and the time we have and will spend here.
It all happened on June 5th, her due date. I was scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 7am to begin inducing labor with the hopes that the contractions would move Isabela into the correct position in the birth canal. We got up early, I showered, got dressed, double checked our hospital bag and we were on our way, It was like Christmas times a thousand.
Once we arrived to the hospital they started me on pitocin to get the contractions going. It was slow moving for a while, since the pitocin took a couple hours to kick in for me, but once it did, oh man did those things hurt. The contractions got more intense and more frequent until I felt like there was no break in between.
During all of this, my blood pressure was being closely monitored. It was unusually high when I arrived to the hospital, which my doctor and I chalked up to nerves, but as the hours went by, it got higher and did not go down. Because of this, my doctor had me give a urine sample to check for protines in the urine, which are a sign and symptom of pre-eclampsia.
When the results came back, it turned out that I had high levels of the protine in my urine. That, along with the high blood pressure were two signs that I was experiencing pre-eclampsia. In the mean time, after almost 5 hours in labor on pitocin, I hadn't dialated one bit, so my doctor decided it was best to get the baby out asap via c-section, rather than risk my health.
I was in the operating room within 10 minutes and one hour later Isabela entered this world.
She came in at 6lbs 2oz and 21 inches long. She is absolutely perfect in every way and James and I are enamered.
We are home now, after 3 nights in the hospital and my recovery has been tough, but it's getting better each day. We have a lot of help right now with my mom and James' mom at the house, which is allowing us to get some much needed rest.
We are so happy for our family of 3, 4 counting Lila.
Speaking of Lila, I will leave you with a picture of her big introduction to Isabela.
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