Blame it on the newborn.
It's been 2 months and 3 days since Isabela was brought into this world and our family of three has managed to pack in a ridiculous amount of life in that time.
James and I both still find ourselves in awe of this beautiful little girl that we created. It's amazing to see how much she has grown.
Her cheeks are chubby and I do believe there are multiple fat rolls forming on her thighs.
She weighed in at 9.5 pounds last week and is a healthy happy girl.
I head back to work on Wednesday. I'm down to one more full day with my girl.
I have no direct answer for how I feel about that. First off, I do not have a choice as to whether or not I'd like to work or stay at home. I have to work. James and I cannot make it on one salary. So, I work.
On one hand, I'm looking forward to going back and seeing co-workers and friends who I've missed all summer. I'm excited to meet my class of kids and see who I'm working with. I'm still so young and have so many goals yet to achieve. I enjoy working and I love my job. I'm not ready to give that up.
On the other hand, I still tear up when I think of being away from Isabela for 9 hours of the day. I worry that she'll forget all about me in that time; that she'll cry all day wondering where her favorite set of boobs are. I worry that she'll get sick while I'm gone, that I won't be there to comfort her and sing to her.
But, like I said, I have no choice in the matter. I'm going back to work full-time on Wednesday and that's that. Rather than dwell on the hard parts, I'll try to remember that I'm doing this for her. In order for her to have the things she needs. Food to eat, cloths to wear and a roof over her head.
And I have to believe that she won't forget me; that she will always know who her mother is.
And ok, I'm sure I'll bawl my eyes out when I drive away on Wednesday.
Catching up on the blog posts. That's very tough. I guess I'll find out what happened in the next post. Who watches Isabela while you are at work?
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nancy