I've moved

I've got a new location.

It's true.

From now on you can read all about my life en espanol here:

www.lifeenespanol.blogspot.com

Lucky

I'm listening to this:



and I just watched this:



Both of which remind me how lucky I am to have this:



Happy Tuesday.

The Big One

Isabela will be 1 in exactly 29 days...

Aside from the fact that that is just unbelievable, it also means we have a 1st birthday party to plan.

Things that will not be present at Isa's 1st birthday party:

*Inflatables

*Clowns

*Cartoon character cutouts or posters

Things that will be present at Isa's 1st birthday party:

*Really tasty BBQ

*Beer and wine

*A very cute 1 year old eating BBQ and cake

It will be a very low key event with some good friends and the celebration of a beautiful life.

Plus, the added bonus of my mom, who is flying down for the weekend

Can't wait to celebrate this little life

Pump it Up

So, I have begun to workout. OK, so I've worked out twice in the past week... it's a start.

I'm feeling more motivated than ever, though, and I have decided to use the Tracy Anderson Method. For those of you unaware of the pint-sized workout queen, you can find out more here: www.tracyandersonmethod.com.

She trains Gweneth Paltrow, Madona, and Shakira, to name a few. Her whole deal is that she exhausts your larger muscle groups to get your smaller accessory muscle groups working, thus pulling everything in and getting you smaller while also making you stronger.

I know, that made me sound as though I know a lot more about muscle groups than I really do; which is close to nothing.

Basically, she's always switching things up, which helps prevent bulk and gets you lean.... which sounds good to me.

So, I've begun and I hope to continue so that I can get myself at least close to the size I was pre-Isabela. I'm also working on eating better. Not less, just better; incorporating more fruits and veggies and and less processed foods... which have always been my weakness. I just love chicken nuggets.

We'll see how this goes, but I'm feeling pretty good about it so far. Here's a little glimpse of what this whole method is all about:

Summer.... I can almost see it

Spring Break is over....

Insert sad face here

Now we're back in full swing until Summer Vacation....

Exactly 53 days away....

But who's counting....

I will just watch this video to cheer myself up til then

House Projects

So, now that we have finished remodeling our kitchen we aren't planning on doing anymore large renovations for a while; but in the mean time I have a bunch of small projects I wan to take on as the summer approaches. In order to really try and complete these things, I have compiled a list... and I do love a good list. So here it is:

1. Gather frames and pictures/objects for our future wall collage on the wall at the top of the stairs.

2. Sand and paint the headboard in the guest room... I'm thinking of trying a distressed grey color to go with the turquoise walls.

3. Paint both closets in the bedrooms and put on new knobs.

4. Repaint the hallway and Isabela's room (the same color, but they need another coat).

So, that's it for now. In regards to #1, here's what I had in mind:




This is a photo from the blog, younghouselove. You can read about how they did this awesome collage wall here: http://www.younghouselove.com/2011/04/its-done-and-we-heart-it/

They are pretty much my fav house blog and I can't deny that I am slightly jealous of their day job, which is to renovate their house and blog about it. I love these two!

So, that's all for now. I will be trying to get a new house tour video up soon since there have been so many changes since the last one. I just want the house to be in tip top shape before that happens, but hopefully in the next few days.

Much love!

One Big Mash Up

OK, so here's what's been going on as of late:

1. Life is still very much in crazy mode and has no chance of slowing down until June 17th when Summer break officially begins.

2. We have finished remodeling our kitchen and it looks awesome! The house is really coming together (pictures coming soon).

3. I have officially gained weight, and it's not just due to having a baby. In fact, I have put on more weight in the past 3 months or so as made obvious by my increasing bottom half. I am now faced with the harsh reality that I can't eat whatever I want and not work out and still remain a size 0. If I want things to change I have to make a plan and commit... we'll see how that goes.

4. I am the process of deciding whether or not to change masters programs. I am more than half way done with my current program but have not been impressed with it thus far. I found a great online program from University of North Dakota with a concentration in ELL (English Language Learners), which is what I want to focus on and will help me a ton when we move back to the states one day; however, they will only let me transfer 9 units, meaning I'd have a long way to go before finishing; but the idea of being done with a masters sooner than later is tempting, even if the program kind of sucks, decisions are the worst (name that movie).

5. Here's a fun update: My brother-in-law has gotten and accepted a job at the school we teach at and will be moving down here with his wife and adorable baby boy in August! Hooray for family! They are young as well and we absolutely love them and cannot wait to have them here to hang out with and to watch our kids grown up together, at least for a little while!

6. #5 means we will be living in Mexico for the next 2 years, since our family will be here for that long as well. After that we are considering moving somewhere else in Latin America or going back to the good ol' USA, we shall see where opportunity lies.

7. James and I have decided that we are going to begin the adoption process this coming fall. We will be adopting from Mexico through an agency that a friend of ours went through. This could take up to a year and a half, but we are motivated and excited to get the process started. Adoption has always been something James and I were passionate about and it's awesome to see that it can now become a reality... more info on that to come.

8. OK, take a breath; that's a lot, I know. I will conclude with this: I want to make it my goal over the next year to find a way to make this blog into something that I could do for some kind of living. I love to write; my college major was Journalism. I love the idea of working from home and spending more time with my kid (eventually kids). I love the idea of making my own schedule and not having piles of work to take home with me after the official work day is done. My main issue is finding a direction for this crazy mash up of a blog that as of now rarely gets used. As well, it's finding the time to really sit and commit to working on this goal along with all of the other things going on in my life. This is why I have given myself a year to figure it out. Ideally, if this works out, I could quit my job after the 2011-2012 school year and stay at home to write and substitute teach every now and then to earn some extra income. So, I need a plan, right? Every goal needs a plan. I'll get back to you when I have that plan...

Wow, so if you're still reading... whoever "you" are, I applaud you. I will attempt to write more often here so that my posts do not become overwhelming and filled to the brim with updates in every direction. Much love and cheers to the unknown!

A Day At Home

Today I get to have a glimpse of what it'd be like to be a stay-at-home-mom.

Our nanny had to stay home today to take care of her son and since we don't have a back up daycare plan (maybe we should get one of those), I got to stay home with the girl.

So far the day has gone something like this:

*Woke up at 6:30 to a smiley and still sleepy almost 9 month old, cuddled, changed a diaper, made a bottle and drank some coffee while playing with blocks

*8:30- nap time for baby, did a load of laundry, folded diapers, skype chatted with the sister

*10:00ish- nap time over, fed baby some apples and papayas then took baby and dog for a walk on an absolutely beautiful day

*10:30, returned, baby drank some juice and ate some crackers, played, I did another load of laundry

*12:30, another nap for baby, cleaned a bit, another load of laundry and blogging with a girly movie in the background and another cup of coffee in hand

It may sounds a bit mundane, but this has been one of the best days I've had in a while. I love spending these moments with Isa and getting to go through her routine with her.

As much as I love teaching, I often find myself wishing I could do this stay at home thing everyday. I'm sure every working mom struggles with the same thing.

For us, there isn't much of a choice since we both have to work to make it financially, and honestly, I enjoy working. I enjoy getting the chance to do something I am passionate about and good at.

And on those rare days I do get to spend all day with Isa, I revel in them. I am full of fervor and love for this girl and I cherish the time we have.

I know if it was everyday, I might take it for granted, as is often the case with beautiful things we see or get to do all of the time.

This is not to say I wouldn't highly consider the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-mom if I had the option, but it is to say I am thankful for what I have right now.

I am thankful for bottles, dirty diapers, toothless smiles, tiny baby barrettes, laundry, cuddling, mangoes and most of all this girl

Pearly Whites

Isa has her first tooth breaking through. She turned 8 months old two days ago and I was starting to get used to the idea that she would never have teeth; nope, we were just going to have to get her a pair of fitted baby dentures and that was that. But at least we wouldn't have to pay for braces.

James saw it this morning. A tiny white tip peaking through her pink gums. I feel so bad for her. Seriously, how painful. There's a reason these things happen when we're babies... can't talk and can't remember the pain.

My baby girl is growing up and it's happening so incredibly fast.

An Absence

Pardon my absence. Life has become a whirlwind and when I find I have some free time all I seem to want to do is sit. That's it; sit.

It has been quite a year thus far. I have taken over another long term sub position. Thankfully it is in the same grade level as my last one, so the team I am working with is the same and the curriculum is the same, but man, this is tough.

To go from one classroom to another and have to pick up where yet another teacher had left off. Both classes have such a different vibe, so it is a big adjustment from last time. A month in and I am finally feeling like I have a handle on this new class.

But it is exhausting. While teaching definitely has it's good days, I'd say it more often has the days where you come home exhausted and strung out because a handful of your 25 3rd graders decided to be, well, 8 years old that day and you know, act like themselves; which I can't really blame them.

It makes being a parent tough. When I get home from my long day all I want is to be fully engaged in my time with Isa. I only get about 3-4 hours before she's off to bed and I want to make them count.

However, when you're physically worn down and realize there are still lessons to plan or papers to grade, it can feel like too much.

It's made me question whether or not teaching is really the profession I want to pursue, while being a mom at the same time.

That is something I will not decide now, however, it is a thought that is hard to escape at times.

*****

I had some wonderful friends visit over the weekend. They are some of the best. We had such a great time and when they left, my heart hurt for San Diego; for the relationships I have there and the connections that I know I will be hard pressed to find anywhere else.

This does not help with the whole "I'm exhausted and not so sure I want to teach" scenario.

*****

And yet, I know things are constantly changing. Our life is so uncertain right now and some days it feels as if we have a handful of options in front of us while at other times it's as though there are only a few.

I have to trust that things will be OK no matter what we decide and that I continually carry my home with me; James and Isabela.

Oh Christmas Tree

This is not what our living room looks like right now.



This is what our living room looks like right now.


We are having new tile put into our downstairs and attempting to paint over our ridiculously bright green walls. It was supposed to take a week, and was to be finished by the time we got back from vacation over Thanksgiving break. It has now been over two weeks and is not finished. The work is being done well, and James and I are happy with the results, but there is something to be said for efficiency.

But this is Mexico, where things always take longer than expected and efficiency is not always the main goal.

I was hoping to have the house finished in time to decorate and put up a Christmas tree with enough time to enjoy it before we leave on the 18th for San Diego. It is Isa's first Christmas, after all, and I wanted her to experience a bit of the festivness.

Not to mention, since James and I have been married, we have never had our own Christmas tree. We're going on three years now.

Yesterday I got myself so worked up over not having the house decorated that I found myself crying over it to James. But this is Isa's first Christmas, I said. But, we've never had a Christmas tree of our own... But I just wish once we could have what other couples and families have...

Today I was awakened by a squealing daughter who my husband brought into our room and lied down between us. We lied there as a family for 20 minutes or so, the three of us.

Christmas is not about Christmas trees. It is not about decorations, or jingle bells or snowmen. It is not about festive music or having it all put together. It is not about Christmas cards or pretty outfits. It is not about lights or hot chocolate.

It is about love. The love of family, the love of friends who are like family, and the love that was first given to us in order for us to even have the chance to love each other.

For Isa's first Christmas, she's not going to remember a pretty tree, or how the house was so clean with everything in its place.

She's not going to remember the music or the lights.

And who cares about those things. What I hope she does remember is how much her family loves each other. How much her mom and dad love each other. How much she is loved and cared for. How it's not what others have that matters.

Besides, how much better is this picture than a Christmas tree

Loads to Carry

I walked to the grocery store with Isa yesterday. It's about a 20 minute walk past our neighborhood park, under a highway, across some train tracks and past numerous taco stands.

It's not a beautiful walk, or really even that pleasant, with the traffic and endless sounds of cars honking and the smog filled air.

For a few seconds, I found myself liking the idea of raising Isa here for a substantial part of her life. For the amazing cultural experience that would be for her. But then thoughts of Isa playing by the ocean crept in and the clean, fresh air she would be missing out on back in San Diego entered my mind. A five minute trafficless car ride to a much less crowded store entered my mind, and I quickly focused back in on the pothole I needed to dodge in front of me.

****************************************

People here are mobile because they have to be. They walk everywhere. They do not complain.

As I found myself lagging as I climbed the steep steel staircase to cross the train tracks, having to push past the young men and chatting women coming in the opposite direction; I was immediately annoyed. Don't they see that I'm carrying a baby? Don't they think they should be more careful and let me pass?

But then I look around and see five other women my age carrying their babies and walking, some with bags of groceries in hand and they don't complain.

I see a 60-something woman carrying food for her family, slowly but confidently walking down the stairs with her cain in hand and she does not complain.

I have this sense of entitlement going on. I feel as though I should receive special treatment since I have a baby and more to carry, but I quickly realize that this is such an Americanized idea, this feeling of entitlement, because all I need to do is look around and I'm quickly faced with the reality, which is, we all have to do it.

****************************************

People here do what they have to do to get things done. They take an hour long metro ride followed by a 30 minute walk while carrying a 5 month old baby, in order to get to the store to buy tortillas and chicken for dinner that night.

They wake up at 4 am to open a tamale stand on the side of a highway to catch the morning commuters in time.

They don't complain.

****************************************

I tend to complain too much. I complain about the weather, the smog, the traffic, long lines, heavy loads to carry. Whether that's because of a sense of entitlement, or simply a gap between cultures, I find that it creeps into my daily life.

We all have heavy loads. They are different, they are the same, they are heavy. Sometimes we forget the weight and sometimes it's all we can think about.

Rather than dwelling on the load itself, I will look to my left and my right and chose to realize that I am just another person carrying my load. I am not any greater or any smaller.

****************************************

I am thankful to live in a place where I can be reminded of this everyday.

Really?

So I'm not normally one to get all upitty about inapropriateness in music. I love music. I believe artists have the right and freedom to express themselves.

But there's expressing your art and talent and then there's this:



Miley Cyrus' new music video, "Who Owns My Heart."

The girl is 17 (this I know for sure because I looked it up; she'll be 18 in November) and is writhing around in a bed blindfolded in her underwear, then following it up with a wild romp at a club in some daisy dukes and a backless top.

Maybe it's because I have a daughter of my own now that I feel so strongly about this, but WTF. How is this OK? How do her parents believe this is OK?

I don't consider myself a conservative person; in fact I'm pretty much the opposite of that; but this is not OK.

Miley has many fans, most of which are young girls. I just can't imagine what those girls are going to think when they see this video of their beloved Miley. Are they going to look in the mirror and think, I'm just not that pretty, but maybe if I curl my hair, put on some makeup and a sexy top then I will be.

Even knowing it's possible that they will think that breaks my heart.

It makes me think back to Britney Spears' video, "Baby One More Time" and how up in arms everyone got about young Brit in her school girl uniform showing her middrift.

Miley's new video makes that look like Sunday school.

I think there should be a line, or at least, with a girl like Miley who is under 18, a parent who puts their foot down.

I don't care if you daughter's famous. Step it up Billy Ray.

House Tour

I've been meaning to do this for a while, but I wanted to wait until our house was more put together. So here it is...

Our colorful home.

2 years

I have been married to this man for 2 years...



We've shared adventures, low points, air mattresses, 40 ounce beers, friends, family, high points, a baby girl, more low points, and most of all a love that is constant through all of that.

Because that's what love is. It's choosing to love someone else more than yourself; even when everything in you says that's not what you want to do. It's taking your guard down and being completely vulnerable. It's a comfort that you've never experienced before.

I love this man who I get to call my husband. He is often times a better person than me. He loves me fully, he loves me deeply, and everyday I am amazed by our life together.

We moved to another country where we didn't speak the language, where we had no plans, no place to live, little money; and managed to find a house, jobs, friends, have a daughter and ultimately make a home.

But then again, I think we've always had a home together, even if it didn't include four walls and a roof. We are each other's home and that is what I am thankful for more than anything else when I think of our marriage.

Here's to 2 years and many many more to come.

Colic

Colic....


Our child has colic.


It's terrible.


Crying almost every night between the hours of 7 and 9pm until she finally falls asleep.


A friend of ours whose child also had colic said this... "I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."


So true.


I hear they grow out of it around 6 months old, which means we have 3 more months to go...


James and I are hanging on by a thread. We bicker like never before because of the frustration and exhaustion.


We love each other; we love our daughter, but man; this is rough.


Luckily I have this to cheer me up.

A Lullaby

A song for my daughter

They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

-Dixie Chicks, Lullaby

Exhausted

I am officially worn out and it's only the third week of work.

I have just taken over a third grade classroom as a long term sub for a teacher who is on maternity leave. I was supposed to take over two weeks from now after having a week getting to know the classroom and how everything works. Due to some complications with the teacher's pregnancy, I have taken over this week, unexpectedly.

I feel overwhelmed to say the least and am attempting to fight a cold to top it off.

I want to devote my evenings to my daughter, but I find myself not only exhausted, but so busy with work to do.

I know this is what I want... to teach, but man do I wish I was a stay at home mom lately.

I just need to make it through this year and I know it will only get better.

Easier said than done

Christmas, where are you?

It's almost September and once again I find myself wishing for Christmas. This has been the case ever since we moved to Mexico almost two years ago. The summers here are rainy and drab, which only adds to my want of Gingerbread lattes, boots and warm coats, watching White Christmas, catching up with old friends, and most of all, time with family.

This year I feel it even more now that Isa is in our lives. I so want to show her off to my wonderful girlfriends in San Diego and to watch my grandma hold her and to hear my dad talk to her.

But once again, I must wait; almost 4 months to be exact. I'm trying my best not to listen to Christmas music, and I may or may not have given in once or twice.

But I am hit with reality when I remember that I have 3 grad school classes to complete before then as well as a classroom of children to teach.

So, to get me through til December, I'll listen to some Bon Iver and enjoy my rapidly growing daughter.

This Year

Three things:

Grad School

First year teaching

New baby

If James and I can make it through this next year with masters degrees in hand, a healthy, happy baby, and still married I think we can handle just about anything.

It's going to be a crazy year.